A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later...
"Da-ad..." "What?" "I'm thirsty.
Can you bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later... "Da-aaaad..."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later... "Daaaa-aaaad..."
"WHAT??!!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"

An exasperated mother, whose son was always
getting into mischief, finally asked him,
"How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said,
"Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says,
'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'"

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a
mother was tucking her small boy into bed.
She was about to turn off the light when he asked
with a tremor in his voice,
"Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
"I can't, dear," She said "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky
little voice: "The big sissy."

It was that time, during the Sunday morning service,
for "the children's sermon," and all the children
were invited to come forward. One little girl
was wearing a particularly pretty dress and,
as she sat down, the pastor leaned over
and said to her, "That is a very pretty dress.
Is it your Easter dress?" The little girl replied,
directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone,
"Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."

Finding one of her students making faces at others
on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently
reprove the child. Smiling sweetly,
the Sunday School teacher said,
"Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that
if I made ugly faces, it would freeze
and I would stay like that."
Bobby looked up and replied,
"Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."