Pants Down
 
This was on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno on September 7, 1999. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was mid-winter, snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing.
It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.
The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late thatafternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain when she gradually began to realize that
she should not have had that extra latte.
They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere.
Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of
the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and
let her pee beside the road, or it would be the front seat of the his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her bottom rest against
the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the other side of the car watching for
traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
 
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull
up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's
fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as he attempted
to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand
new problem due to the extreme cold.
   
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered her date's concerns about
"what was taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and needed
some assistance"! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then,
as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when
they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both
agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal.
Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly
realized that there was only one way to get her free so, as she looked the other way, her first
time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her bottom off the fender.
Rescue accomplished, they returned to the car although for the remainder of the trip home
there wasn't much conversation and apparently, despite their "intimate encounter," the two
did not see one another again. As for the Tonight Show...she took the prize hands down...or
perhaps that should be "pants down."
 
 

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